skadji

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rafsi corrections: http://springtail.blogspot.ru/2014/09/cabna-rafydri-binxo.html

skanunydji is the later, 2001 version of this poem.


Here is one of the poems called 'skadji' or 'Color-Desire'.


'''le rozgu .a lo zgike be sekai'''

The rose, or all music like it

'''leri kamyxunre ba lunra'''

in redness, will turn moonlike

'''xarnu nundunra ri'a .ia'''

stubborn winter because of, so I believe,

'''do .e ledo darno logji'''

you and the aloof logic of yours.

'''.icu'u le pu me do {ku}'''

As said by the you of past

'''ko fi mi ca cusku fe leiva'''

say now to me those

'''smaji valsi noi mi ke'a'''

soft words, which I

'''pujeca .iecai na natfe'''

then and now - Oh yes - do not deny

'''na'emu'i rolei jitfycipra'''

in spite of all the proofs against...


Comments:

(Setting aside the concrete nature of Lojban and accepting the

unmarked figurative usage)

le rozgu ba nundunra the rose will be an event-of-winter, the rose will turn winter

Took me a while to find an English expression for this. I rather

like this - and stating that all rosa music turns into winter...

I vacillated here between 'a' and 'all' but finally chose 'all'.

The original was missing the be.

kamyxunre replaced the obviously outdated rafsi kaz

lunra xarnu something moving with the inevitability of the Moon in its orbit

.icu'u the original had .isecu'u

le pu me do {ku} the me was missing, ku is elidable

na(bo) natfe removed the unparseable {bo}

na'e mu'i replaced the erroneous na with na'e

The second verse is an example of a sentence where {fi/fe} seem to

be almost unavoidable. I might, however, consider

caku tecu'u mi ko cusku leiva ...

{ko fi mi ca cusku fe leiva...}

as an alternative to avoid the mental juggling which distracts

the reader from the flow of the poem.

The structure cu'u le pu me do ko cusku... is quite clever and

nicely ambiguous. The past you and the imperative you are

speaking/ougth to speak simultaneously in a way very difficult

to convey satisfactorily in English.

veion


The original by Michael Helsem from le pamai jbopemci cukta

ci'a la maiky'elsym


'''le ROZgu .A lo ZGIke SEkai'''

The rose,or a music with

'''LEri KAzyXUNre ba LUNra'''

its redness, will be lunar-

'''XARnu nunDUNra RI'a .IA'''

stubborn in its winterhood, because of (I believe)

'''DO .e LEdo DARno LOGji'''

you & your distant logic.

'''.IseCU'u LE pu DO ku'''

As said by you before,

'''KO fi MI ca CUSku fe LEIva'''

again say to me those

'''SMAji VALsi NOI mi KE'a'''

soft words that i

'''puJEca .IEcai NAbo NATfe'''

then & now--yes!--don't deny

'''naMU'i ROlei JITfyCIPra'''

in spite of all the disproofs...