Talk:lo melbi plini

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Posted by Anonymous on Wed 25 of July, 2007 01:57 GMT Nice story! Some comments:

> lo kensa marce cu nenri klama lo varxamsi

Shouldn't that be "xe klama"?

Also, the "nenri" there is not very clear. If the going as a whole happens inside the atmosphere, then "fo lo nenri be lo varxamsi" would be clearer. If the going is into the atmosphere, then "fe lo nenri be lo varxamsi" would be clearer. An "inner going" by itself doesn't seem to mean much.

> .i ly djica lo nu cpana lo plini vau po'o

"po'o" should probably be in BAhE rather than in UI.

"vau" doesn't seem to be enough there to make it modify the sumti. It just modifies the inner bridi, so it would say that L wants an event that consists only of being on the planet, instead of saying what I take it to be the intention, that the only thing L wants is to be on the planet. Even "kei" wouldn't be enough, because that would mean that L wants that which is nothing but an event of being on the planet. So it seems that either "kei ku" or "vau ku" or "ku ku" are required...

>.i lo kensa > marce cu jungau ly lo du'u ba spofu .i ly prami ky my .i ku'i na > zmapa'i loi pendu poi pu canci

I take "zmapa'i" to mean "x1 loves x2 more than x3". Is that what is meant here, or do you need a "fi"?


> .i ly na ka'e cliva ta'i lo nu lo stizu > cu cnita muvdu ki'u lo nu lo crane cu nenri lo dertu

I think you must mean something more like:

".i ly na kakne lo nu cliva ta'i lo nu lo stizu cu cnita muvdu .i ki'u bo lo crane cu nenri lo dertu"

> .i ca > lo nu darno lo plini kei py simsa lo nu melbi je ku'i fadni

I think you want "simlu lo ka melbi je ku'i fadni"

> .i ca lo > nu cpana lo plini kei py simsa lo nu mutce si traji melbi

Same here: s/simsa lo nu/simlu lo ka

> ni'o py pu zu se cliva .i loi xabju za'o pilno py lo nu jmive

That sounds contradictory. Was P abandoned long ago, or is P still inhabited?

mu'o mi'e xorxes